People seem to get really confused when I try to pay with my phone here. Credit card tap is a relatively new thing. Only became normal within the last 5 years.

@kaikatsu never even knew cc tap was a thing until about 6 months ago when a guy at subway thought I was a complete moron after he said "tap! tap!" as I'm trying to insert the card. Now that I'm acquainted, I wouldn't have it any other way. Still don't think I'd pay with my mobile device, though. I still turn off my WIFI when I leave the house.

@mjfi I usually have mobile data on when I leave the house because I need it for my cars GPS and Spotify (because I keep forgetting my phone has a microSD slot). I can't remember if it needs it or not. I just assume it does.

@kaikatsu I still use an MP3 player for tunes, and a Garmin for GPS. I like dedicated tech for a singular purpose, but also I'm very wary of just about everyone and everything wanting *all the data*. This is the first social media I've used in 10 years and I access it through TOR. Getting a VPN on top of that when I can. Impractical? Sure. But whatever makes my naive brain feel better about our eventual reduction to advertising metadata. Otherwise, I'd be lighting molotovs by now

@mjfi I run a work profile on my Android through an app called Shelter, so essentially a sandbox for all the proprietary apps in my life. I don't believe you can be totally private these days, I think you need to accept that you will always have a public data-mined identity, and just hide what you can.
I run my work profile through OpenVPN too with very few issues, and only my bank app excluded in case they try to freeze my card for logins over VPN.

@kaikatsu yeah it's upsetting that we can't even expect a level of privacy, no matter how hard we try, in the modern era. I'll check out Shelter, that might be an option for expanding my anonymity. Thank you!

@mjfi You can also get cheap burner phones with pay-as-you-go plans at gas stations. Mine's linked to my real identity so not really a burner burner, but you'd get a phone capable of running proprietary social media and receiving SMS for under $100.

I think the modern reality is having a public regular identity, and trying to keep the rest secret. With Facebook's ghost profiles, you can only imagine what other companies are doing. So best to keep a clean public face to appear normal.

@kaikatsu I'm aware of burners, I spent my twenties pretty tight in a lot of drug dealer circles.

I think my public face is already pretty well known and gonna be hard to clean up - one reason I haven't run for any political office. Turns out, most people hear "I use LSD once or twice a year" as "I inject speedballs and kidnap your daughters to fuel my amphetamine rage" but whatever, these are the times we live in. I just hope when they come for me I have a chance to go down kicking.

@mjfi Do they? Maybe it's just the circle I'm in but hard drug use outside of injectables is fairly normal.

@kaikatsu yeah. Turns out all those kids that never touched a substance ended up as adults eventually. My girlfriend doesn't even drink; I pretty much only dose when I go to an Incubus concert now. There's a large section of the populace that have no idea how to differentiate between heroin, meth, and DMT.

@mjfi lol people think LSD makes you hallucinate dancing flowers and shit. Nah it just makes you cry at guitar solos

@kaikatsu haha yep. Actually I'm really enjoying the distorted video effects that are becoming popular lately - datamoshing? - has a super cool heavy-trip effect that I'm digging is becoming part of the Gen Z wheelhouse. Maybe they'll push for the drug legalization policies Millennials as myself have dropped the ball on getting passed.

@mjfi I could see complete drug decriminalization happening in a century, but it'd need to wait for all the boomers to go. Zoomers love their narcotics.

I saw some really good datamoshes that are exactly what a high dose LSD trip felt like.

@kaikatsu @mjfi > I think you need to accept that you will always have a public data-mined identity, and just hide what you can.

dude you can just not use discord,

@kaikatsu @mjfi > smart phone
> "burner"

no no no no no no no no no NO

@velartrill @mjfi It is imperative that I have normie social media for access to coochie.

@velartrill @mjfi I dunno how it is for you but not having access to proprietary services makes you a severe outlier at my age. Very, very few local friends if any will try an open source privacy driven chat service for you, let alone even talk to you through SMS because it lacks all the modern features of easy group chats, quick meme sending, etc. If you want to keep up with local friends at my age, you use normie social media. That's how it is. My social circle heavily expanded after I moved back onto social media after spending high school in a FOSS-only mindset.

@kaikatsu @mjfi this was the reason i finally grudgingly joined facebook and later twitter when i was in high school. very few of those people followed me when i left FB. but what i eventually clued into was that people who weren't willing to use a different piece of software to keep in touch with me (despite being happy to use much worse software to hand all their personal information over to the cybercrats) were shitty friends and/or very shallow people who clearly weren't very invested in knowing me, and losing those people improved my life in the long run. imo that's one of the benefits of dropping commercial social networks: it clarifies who you actually mean anything to, and who you don't

when i left twitter, a handful of people followed me onto the fediverse, and i've been able to drag a social circle of 15 or so people after me to various IRC networks. my social circle now is very small compared to what it once was, but it's higher-quality than it's ever been before in my life

@velartrill @kaikatsu I agree to some extent, but to another extent countries have allowed, to a staggering amount, the ability for these companies to collect and use vast amounts of data that is not relevant to the products their users consume. We need stronger consumer rights legislation for the 21st century, allowing users to *at least* opt out of datamining such as harvesting links from other sites and services, and collecting location data when no location-based service is being utilized.

@kaikatsu @velartrill I thought that for a while but now in my 30s with a solid relationship, I can say that social media and dating apps have never helped me secure anything but annoyance. Go out and meet people. Except now, maybe don't do it during a pandemic.

@kaikatsu @velartrill I get it. When I made the hop from FB to G+ back in the day, I think I took all of about 7 people with me. I still get weird looks when someone asks for my Facebook and I tell them I don't have one. It'll shift eventually.

@mjfi @kaikatsu yeah there is broad consensus that dating apps are only useful for shallow women who want cheap sex, and will rapidly destroy the psyche of anyone else

social media varies ime; i met all my partners through it, including the one i married (on fedi) but also the psychotic furry who abused me for months and then broke every promise they made and dropped me (on twitter, where they actually work irl), so ymmv

@velartrill @kaikatsu I don't think it's that so much RE: dating sites. I think there's just an inherent imbalance that becomes overwhelming for cis women getting bombarded with creeps, and cis guys being a fish in a populated pond. Can't speak for non-cis/hetero experiences. Bumble seems to be an interesting attempt at correcting these issues but sans a FB acct I could never try it out.

There's nothing wrong with social media inherently, but datamining and toxic people ruin things for everyone

@mjfi @kaikatsu > I don't think it's that so much RE: dating sites. I think there's just an inherent imbalance that becomes overwhelming for cis women getting bombarded with creeps

i'm not sure what being cisgender has to do with this. also what are you talking about? most of the 'creeps' are on grindr and craigslist or wherever, the men on normal dating apps like tinder or okc vary between boring-but-normal, fuckbois, and desperate nerds (tho i've seen relatively few of the last -- it's mostly fuckbois). if you think it's 'overwhelming' to be 'bombarded' with interest, affection, and male attention, you must be one hell of an introvert.

ofc, having ready access to an unlimited stream of disposable dick does really bad things to womens' brains, but in a very different way from the way constantly struggling for the attention of shallow women among a vast sea of competitors wrecks men. it bloats our egos, gives us inflated perceptions of our own desirability, and promotes slutting around instead of finding a stable partnership. if you look at the stats, you'll see that coming out of internet dating married (or at least with a long-term boyfriend/girlfriend) is one of the most unlikely outcomes.

tl;dr internet dating is absolutely crushing for men (and lesbians) because these sites designed to keep people using them, not to help them find lasting relationships, and because human courtship behavior and sexual strategies lead to very very toxic effects in this context. maybe there would be some way to re-engineer these apps (if we lived in some glorious socialist utopia where they were developed by a government that was invested in helping people build stable long-term relationships and start families rather than squeeze every last penny out of them and throw their husks to the wolves) to be compatible with humanity, but i doubt it. it's just not what we evolved for.

> bumble

bumble is a disaster. i guarantee you 90% of the women using it are psycho feminists, because that's precisely who they market to, and the men are mostly gullible self-hating simps no self-respecting woman would fuck unless she was totally desperate. it's also built on a complete inversion of human behavior, which doesn't exactly predict success. stick to okc or tinder if you really absolutely have no other choice imo -- still full of boring and/or terrible people but at least it doesn't pre-select the ones who are most unfit for relationships.

@velartrill @mjfi Skimming through this between sets. Bumble is infinite garbage. Tinder is good just due to the sheer amount of users. HER is good if you're not a man.

I don't think things like Tinder are bad, I think pretending looks aren't the most important thing is silly. I think it would work better without the hedonist hookup culture we have. Find someone attractive, get to know more, ez pz.

>and the men are mostly gullible self-hating simps no self-respecting woman would fuck unless she was totally desperate
me too thanks

@kaikatsu @mjfi they're run by corporations that have an interest in keeping people using them (i.e. keeping them from finding people they'd marry), so of course they're bad. that's beyond debate; just look at the stats. what's debatable is whether they could be made to work if they were developed by an agent with the proper incentives, but really i don't think any healthy human society has any legitimate use for these things. their existence is a sign of extreme social breakdown imo

@kaikatsu @mjfi > HER is good if you're not a man.

lol i tried that iirc, it was such a joke. i don't think they even let you write a bio; your profile is just a picture

@velartrill @mjfi They're used in basically every society though. You know I'm getting on them ASAP when I get over to China.

And HER does let you have a bio and definitely the most descriptive trait list.

@kaikatsu @mjfi > They're used in basically every society though

that's definitely not true lol, many societies don't even have phones or internet access

maybe HER has been somewhat defucked since i used it then

@velartrill @mjfi I'm talking about societies of actual note and importance at all.

@kaikatsu @mjfi and i don't think china is exempt from the epidemic of developed-world social breakdown; i don't know as much about it as i do the west but from the bits i've heard it sounds like the deterioration of traditional culture has left a lot of people in the wind. doesn't help that the CPC seems to have gotten it into its head to drag women into the industrial workforce, even rural women who otherwise could have had normal and happy married lives. i hope they fix that shit before too long.

@kaikatsu @mjfi thas raciss

@kaikatsu @velartrill @mjfi
Really wish I was a woman when I scroll through these apps

@izarella @mjfi @velartrill I think you wish you were a woman enough to make it a bigger issue

@kaikatsu @izarella @mjfi no egging in my mentions

@velartrill @kaikatsu @mjfi what contemporary society has no phones or internet

@kaikatsu @mjfi @velartrill
Woah why are you trying to egg me.

@izarella @mjfi @velartrill You can't egg an egg

@kaikatsu @izarella @mjfi seriously don't

@kaikatsu @mjfi @velartrill
You're egging me on

@velartrill @izarella @kaikatsu the fuck is egging?

Also re: creeps / cishet women, just reporting what I've heard from most of my close female friends. Worst my current girlfriend has had to deal with, though, has been a guy who thought negging her as "mom jeans" on their first & only date. That story got a chuckle outta me.